problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
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After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
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Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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