whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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