I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
