I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
