if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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