i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
