it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
this must be what syphilis tastes like
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
