no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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