its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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