why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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