It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
