You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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