i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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