oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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