The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
