I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
