I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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