im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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