I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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