just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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