we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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