Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
