I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
