Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
