Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
