ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
