I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The feeling are messing with the penis
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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