he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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