Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
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how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
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Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
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