two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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