Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
