Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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