I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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