I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
