You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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