I feel great
I just peed on a car
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
