your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
