And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
