Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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