Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
