It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Pants are for mortals
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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