I want to stick my p in your. b.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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