He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
