with your own penis?
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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