What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
