Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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