"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
