grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
