Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
