Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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