The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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