I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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