singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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