True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
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He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
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Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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