Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
